Men's mental health month.

 

Alongside 'Movember' raising awareness of the mental health of our gentlemen, we also support men's mental health in the month of June every year, which, I believe started in America.

Some people may think that my business is mainly based around helping menopausal women, but not so, in fact, behind the scenes of social media I have a few male clients who come to me for hypnotherapy and talking sessions too.

Men generally don't discuss their mental health issues with the ease that women do, talking gets things dealt with, problems can be worked on, help can be sought and eventually, a positive life plan can be put into place.

The male clients I have seen for hypnotherapy have gained so much more from their lives since their sessions, and in some cases the sessions have loosened their tongues enough for them to talk to their friends and family too, about the mental battles that they face.

The thing is, there is so much help out there, and available, but one size does not fit all. What works for one person, may not for another. The therapist adored by one person, may not be right for another. The main thing to so is try though, and if it doesn't fit with you, try another way, or another person.

We know that there are no 'quick fixes' when it comes to our mental health, particularly if help is long overdue, so patience is key. However, hypnotherapy works a lot faster then some 'talking' therapies because the 'thinking' switch is flicked off, enabling much clearer, honest communication between client and therapist. Some say hypnotherapy is about three times faster, but all I know is that it works well.

Here are some, possibly outdated facts - but you will get the general idea from it.

Male suicide rate - 16.1 per 100,000

Female suicide rate - 5.3 per 100,000

Wow eh? That is a significant difference, and I think that something really needs to be done to help those that are struggling to see a way forward, but we cannot do this on our own. And, we shouldn't have to shoulder that burden alone either.

My interest in men's mental health gained a boost in 2021, when a very dear friend of mine told me that he wanted to take his own life. That he had planned it, and had no reason not to do it, other than what it would do to me, his only genuine friend.

Due to a whole load of circumstances I won't go into, because they are private, he was left pretty much with very little money, no real friends, and his health was failing in a big way.

He had a fear that another stroke would happen, either leaving him in an awful state to die alone in hospital, or giving him an extremely painful death. He told me all of this, only months before he did take his own life.

I had known him for a good five years before this point, but he never shared his health worries, or the fact that he no longer wanted to live, with me. I knew some of the other awful things that were going on in his life, but I didn't know just how badly he was dealing with them in his own mind.

I do feel that I could have done more, I don't feel guilty anymore, I just wish that he had talked to me much earlier and I could have gathered support to help with all of his issues, both personal and health-related. I wish I had seen the signs earlier, or maybe I didn't want to?

I am now a mental health first-aider, and I have knowledge and experience now to 'hopefully' spot signs earlier, and maybe get that help to people, so they can get health support, income support, whatever it is that can help them move forward to live longer, happier lives.

Please be there for your friends, but also, as I had to, realise that for some people, the help they really want is acceptance of their decision. This is a tough one, I know, but you can't help everyone, worrying about this will damage your own mental health, and what good would you be then? And also remember when helping others, you shouldn't be, and aren't alone. Do not take it all on yourself.

Another serious and tough topic today. I'm no expert, I've just experienced something first hand, and so I'm passing this onto you all, in hope that it may benefit you, or others in the future.

I'm going to finish with David's own words 'from the grave' from an email he wrote to me before he took his own life, explaining in detail, not only why he made the decision, but also how he was going to do it, weirdly making me feel a lot better about what happened. It reached my email inbox a week after he passed.

Something to think about, but I truly believe, if you really want help, it's there for you, in many forms, don't be too proud, or afraid to ask for it.

"In the end, the only reason I don't want to die is to save you from being upset, however, my argument to you is my death has come at a time of my choosing in a manner of my choosing."

RIP David Law 23rd June 2021.